23 January 2009

I'm done with today now, thank you.

When I started forming a blog in my head this morning, this was not the picture I was planning on having at the beginning.


No. Believe it or not, I had not planned on setting the cookbook I had checked out from the library on top of the stove and then turning on the WRONG BURNER. I had not planned on filling my house with lung scorching smoke, or on tossing my baby cakes into her room where there was no smoke so that I could busy myself with clearing out the haze while she cried her guts out in her jungle themed prison.

Nope.

What I wanted to tell you was that I'm really loving this cookbook that Hannah has mentioned several times on her blog. So far everything I've tried has been delicious and I'm excited to cook more from it. I was also going to tell you my brilliant idea of always checking a cookbook out at the library first so that you can cook a few recipes out of it before committing $30 of your hard earned money to it.

But instead I burned my cookbook.

So yeah, check it out. Or you know...whatever.

P.S. Oh and I almost forgot. I was making whipped cream for the banana cream pie I just happened to whip up this evening when I realized that after about 10 minutes of high powered stirring, my cream was as liquid as when I'd started. What the? I later looked it up online and saw that sometimes there's just this fluke carton of the ultra-pasteurized cream that won't whip. I never would have guessed that since, you know, it's named HEAVY WHIPPING CREAM. You think I'm annoyed now...you should have seen me while I was trying to get the crap to whip. I was ready to rage on that whipping cream! With a string of swears weaving themselves just behind my teeth. I was, however, able to keep it together without throwing an [insert maiden name here] fit. After all, it's just drinkable whip cream in a smoke filled kitchen right?
Photobucket

15 comments:

Denise said...

I am so impressed that you had the presence of mind to snap a picture with the book mid-flame! Way to go, Blogger Girl.

Condolences on the smoke and liquid cream.

Gail said...

So, I logged on to my computer to look up your split pea soup recipe. When I accidentally ended up on this entry, I briefly considered cooking a cookbook instead, but then decided ...... No, I'll go with my original plan, and look up the soup
Thanks, anyway

Serin said...

Yikes! Glad it was the cook book you set on the stove and not the baby! ;)

Erica said...

Only you could turn a couple of horrid experiences into a blog that many will laugh at. Sorry it happened but thanks for recording it! loves!

Jenny n' Sam said...

Oh my gosh!!!! That same thing happened to me two weeks ago. I was so mad that I had already gone through my choice swear words that I then began to cry. They should put that on the CARTON. "You might be wasting your money. Good Luck!!!" Love YA!!

Miranda said...

Thanks for the vote of confidence Serin. I try not to place my baby atop stoves that have burners on :P

siberianluck said...

The pie was really good though - even without the whipped cream.

Jaime said...

OH how I've forgotten how you make me laugh! That's just what I needed this evening so thanks for sharing your hilarious, although unfortunate, stories. :)

noisy penguin said...

This is the best blog entry I have ever read.

Spencer and Kimberlee said...

You started a cookbook on fire...from the library! And that right there is why I love you.

Staci Hill said...

Hah! I think that beats me dumping my Diet Coke into the 20 cups of fried rice that I'd made for the Cub Scout Blue & Gold banquet last year. I had the Diet Coke on the counter next to the soy sauce. I grabbed, delidded, and dumped the wrong liquid.

Would that fit be your maiden name or your mother's? Cause I'm pretty sure that I've had a few Egan fits in my day...

Jen said...

Geez, you would have thought I was right there cooking with you.

michelle said...

Oh no!! Ditto to Denise's comment :).

Hannah said...

Miranda-this post made me laugh out loud. I saw my favorite cookbook in your linked within and clicked on it. Oh, my goodness. I am so sorry that this happened so long ago, but I am glad you've enjoyed the recipes that you tried.

Ashleigh Louise said...

You're not alone. So far I've left a kettle boiling on the hob for TWO HOURS!! Mom was not impressed, but at least I had an excuse. I had a young baby, baby brain and thought she would have checked since she'd asked me to make her a cup of tea!

Next I read on the side of my rice that you can cook it in the microwave in boiling water for X amount of time. Perfect! I thought I'd just pop it in there as then it would take exactly the same amount of time as the fish I would be serving it with. Only instead I was greated with half a house FULL of thick smoke. So I shut bubba in his room and popped a rolled towel against the door so no smoke would go under the door. I then opened every window in the house, turned the fans on and discovered my rice now looked like the tar they spread on roads... Turns out I hadn't used enough water AND hadn't read the really small print that you had to check it half way through!

I have also set a tea towel on fire. Knocked it onto the hob when I was leaving the room. I considered having a funeral... But he was already cremated ;)

And then there was the time I turned on the wrong hob at my ex's house while being romantic and cooking dinner. I knew it would be finished about the same time he got home from work. Only when I opened the kitchen door we gagged on smoke and discovered I'd managed to turn on the hob that had a huge plastic container of mayonnaise... As you can imagine our lungs and stomachs weren't impressed so we opened the windows and walked to Tesco for some ready made food and fresh air...

I've also had a few moments of forgetting to turn on the oven first. Despite all this, I'm still a brilliant cook apparently, just a bit baby brainy at times... x

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