There is something tiny and scurry-ish in the kitchen.
No there isn't.
I'm not looking over there.
Mouse: Run out from underneath the kitchen and look Miranda directly in the eyes.
Mouse: Bolt across the kitchen.
Z-cakes: Silent and wide eyed staring at the kitchen.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't mean to scare you.
Z-cakes: (matter-of-factly) Well that is a mouse.
Me: How does she know that?
Me: Yep, it sure is.
Z-cakes: But it's really scary.
Me: No, it's not really scary, I just don't want to have a mouse in the house.
Z-cakes: Well we can catch it!
Me: Yes. Yes we should catch it.
Z-cakes: We could use a pot!
Me: Umm, no. I don't think we should use a pot.
Z-cakes: Okay. We could use a house!
7: 15 Text to N8tr0n:
MOUSE MOUSE MOUSE. There is a mouse in our house. Maybe more than one. Z and I are off to buy traps. COME HOME NOW.
7:30 In the car driving to Home Depot to procure a mouse catching device:
Z-cakes: Mommy! We need to catch the mouse! It's not scary. It's just pretend. But it was running around and around. It's in the kitchen. We can't go in the kitchen. We could catch it with a pot. We can catch the mouse together. Oh, it's really really tiny. It goes "squeak, squeak, squeak." Mommy we gotta catch the mouse! Are we going to the store? We're at HOME DEPOT! Mommy the mouse is really scary. But it's really tiny. It run around and around and around and around. I need some candy!
7:32 At Home Depot on the phone with my brother:
Me: Do you have any experience with either Decon or Ortho mice traps?
Brother: You mean the old kind with the metal snaps?
Me: No, the kind that the mouse walks into, meets its death, and is then disposed of.
Brother: Oh, well those aren't going to work.
Me: What? Why?
Brother: Because. All of that fancy stuff isn't going to work. You have to go with the basic trap that always works.
Me: Absolutely not. N8tr0n is not home and I am NOT setting a metal mouse trap and then taking a dead mouse out of the house.
Brother: Well, okay.
Me: Sorry I'm not taking your advice. Thanks for taking the time to discuss mouse traps anyway.
7:35 I remember a time when my brother was little. Five years old maybe? There was a mouse in our house and Brother volunteered to catch it. He placed a mouse trap, a piece of cheese, and a cough drop in a shoe box, placed it outside of the open Lazy Susan cupboard and left. The mouse was caught in matter of minutes. Maybe I should take his advice.
7:40 I resist the urge to buy Home Depot out of vermin catching devices.
7:55 Getting out of the car after going to Home Depot I see a neighborhood stray cat. I consider letting it in the house to catch the mouse/mice. I decide against this.
8:00 Setting the "mouse house" traps I am annoyed that I only have "good peanut butter" in the house. I do not feel that mice deserve Adam's peanut butter or Tillamook cheese. I notice the lack of scurrying sounds in the kitchen. I suspect that the mouse/mice have left the kitchen and could literally be anywhere in the house. I fear that I will not catch the mouse/mice but I put the traps by the refrigerator anyway hoping that the mouse/mice will return to the scene of the crime. The crime being freaking me the crap out.
11:00 Getting ready for bed I hear an owl outside. How cool is that? I try to remember if I've ever heard an owl outside anytime other than camping trips. I consider trying to let the owl into the house to catch the mouse/mice. I realize that this is a horrible idea. Worse than the stray cat one.
11:30 Phone conversation with N8tr0n:
N8tr0n: Have you caught the mice?
Me: NO! DAMN IT! STUPID MICE!
Me: Dude, I can hear an owl outside.
N8tr0n: You should let it in the house to catch the mice.
Me: I know, right?
11:00 AM Present Day: Mouse/mice continues to be at large. Am making plans to move.