There is something tiny and scurry-ish in the kitchen.
No there isn't.
I'm not looking over there.
Mouse: Run out from underneath the kitchen and look Miranda directly in the eyes.
Me: Scream
Mouse: Bolt across the kitchen.
Z-cakes: Silent and wide eyed staring at the kitchen.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't mean to scare you.
Z-cakes: (matter-of-factly) Well that is a mouse.
Me: How does she know that?
Me: Yep, it sure is.
Z-cakes: But it's really scary.
Me: No, it's not really scary, I just don't want to have a mouse in the house.
Z-cakes: Well we can catch it!
Me: Yes. Yes we should catch it.
Z-cakes: We could use a pot!
Me: Umm, no. I don't think we should use a pot.
Z-cakes: Okay. We could use a house!
Me: Let's go get something to catch the mouse.
7: 15 Text to N8tr0n:
MOUSE MOUSE MOUSE. There is a mouse in our house. Maybe more than one. Z and I are off to buy traps. COME HOME NOW.
7:30 In the car driving to Home Depot to procure a mouse catching device:
Z-cakes: Mommy! We need to catch the mouse! It's not scary. It's just pretend. But it was running around and around. It's in the kitchen. We can't go in the kitchen. We could catch it with a pot. We can catch the mouse together. Oh, it's really really tiny. It goes "squeak, squeak, squeak." Mommy we gotta catch the mouse! Are we going to the store? We're at HOME DEPOT! Mommy the mouse is really scary. But it's really tiny. It run around and around and around and around. I need some candy!
7:32 At Home Depot on the phone with my brother:
Me: Do you have any experience with either Decon or Ortho mice traps?
Brother: You mean the old kind with the metal snaps?
Me: No, the kind that the mouse walks into, meets its death, and is then disposed of.
Brother: Oh, well those aren't going to work.
Me: What? Why?
Brother: Because. All of that fancy stuff isn't going to work. You have to go with the basic trap that always works.
Me: Absolutely not. N8tr0n is not home and I am NOT setting a metal mouse trap and then taking a dead mouse out of the house.
Brother: Well, okay.
Me: Sorry I'm not taking your advice. Thanks for taking the time to discuss mouse traps anyway.
7:35 I remember a time when my brother was little. Five years old maybe? There was a mouse in our house and Brother volunteered to catch it. He placed a mouse trap, a piece of cheese, and a cough drop in a shoe box, placed it outside of the open Lazy Susan cupboard and left. The mouse was caught in matter of minutes. Maybe I should take his advice.
7:40 I resist the urge to buy Home Depot out of vermin catching devices.
7:55 Getting out of the car after going to Home Depot I see a neighborhood stray cat. I consider letting it in the house to catch the mouse/mice. I decide against this.
8:00 Setting the "mouse house" traps I am annoyed that I only have "good peanut butter" in the house. I do not feel that mice deserve Adam's peanut butter or Tillamook cheese. I notice the lack of scurrying sounds in the kitchen. I suspect that the mouse/mice have left the kitchen and could literally be anywhere in the house. I fear that I will not catch the mouse/mice but I put the traps by the refrigerator anyway hoping that the mouse/mice will return to the scene of the crime. The crime being freaking me the crap out.
11:00 Getting ready for bed I hear an owl outside. How cool is that? I try to remember if I've ever heard an owl outside anytime other than camping trips. I consider trying to let the owl into the house to catch the mouse/mice. I realize that this is a horrible idea. Worse than the stray cat one.
11:30 Phone conversation with N8tr0n:
N8tr0n: Have you caught the mice?
Me: NO! DAMN IT! STUPID MICE!
N8tron: Laughs
Me: Dude, I can hear an owl outside.
N8tr0n: You should let it in the house to catch the mice.
Me: I know, right?
11:00 AM Present Day: Mouse/mice continues to be at large. Am making plans to move.
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18 comments:
That was a great story...not because there is a mouse but because it made me laugh. I hate mice!!! Peanut butter does work...we've had to use it in the basement. I totally understand about being discouraged because you only had good peanut butter. I hope you catch him/her/it. Shiver.
I hate mice too. I'll recommend the grey "Better Mouse Trap." I always get mine at CAL, but they're great. All you have to do is pinch the end to set, pinch to release. Good luck.
Hilarious commentary. Sad but true. Your brother is right. We got and electrical mouse trap that lures the mouse in with the smell of PB and then when it steps on the metal floor to eat it get buzzed and dead. Oh no, they don't go to that one. We caught two in the good ol' fashion snapping one's. Well worth it to not be woken up in the middle of the night (three times in one night) with the sound of chomping paper under my bed. gross. Good Luck!!!!
omgoodness! this was so funny! sorry to hear about the mouse at large and that you have to move:-) haha! I have had good luck using peanut butter and choc chips smushed into it.
Ack! Mice in your house is so disgusting. I lived in a third-floor apartment once that had a mouse problem and our landlord refused to believe it, since that's more of a problem on the ground floor, you see. Well, he came around when we sent him a picture of a mouse in a trap.
you are too funny. You're daughter's monologue was hilarious.
Good luck with the mice. I can't do the old-fashion traps either. Ick. We live with a field in our backyard. I've never seen a mouse in the house...but I know they are here. We have the little mouse hotels all over and have never caught one...
OK - you know those sticky traps that are just a tray? They really don't work! At our old house, we also had a mouse in our kitchen (he got in & out of the wall somehow and also showed up in my bathroom and downstairs in the laundry room. Yick!) Anyway. He was a sneaky squeaker. The back 1/3 of him got caught in the sticky tray and me & the boys watched him s t r u g g l e as he sloooooowly pullllllllllled his tail out of the goo. I almost felt sorry for him when I heard the SNAP the next night. So - Spence is right - the old traps really do work the best.
Oh - and I totally would have called my brother to ask him about mouse traps. Brothers must be the experts or something.
You could try "The Old Bucket Trick." I don't believe it works though. Or you could get really good at throwing knives. I recommend the latter.
The little wretches have loads of nerve, don't they? I feel so violated whenever I have encountered their disgusting tiny mouse poops. And the wee bastards always go for my baking supplies. I feel you on the good peanut butter sacrifice!! Grrr....
Love it. A fine story.
that picture is adorable!
we caught a mouse on accident on one of those hobo spider traps once... it was actually pretty sad. it just sat there helplessly squeaking trying to get loose until Jer took it out and put it in the trash.
best of luck to you!
Definitely the snap traps work best. And while PB works best don't use too much or they'll just lick it clean but never actually set it off. I've found facing it into a corner (so it snaps shut towards the corner) prevents them from escaping as well. Let's just say I've had a little experience lately.
so that is like the most awesome picture...EVER. seriously.
Seriously your faces are priceless! Happy Hunting!
Oh my goodness. That picture. I love that picture. So SO sorry about the mouse.
That photo is hilarious. I've had some experience with mice. You never get used to it, at least I don't. I saw one in my kitchen just about a week ago.
I've tried all kinds of traps. The old-fashioned ones were the only ones that worked. I hate emptying them, though. I decided they are cheap enough, I just throw them away with the mouse inside!
After killing tons in the traps and still having more show up, Grandma told me to get the blocks of poison. The ones I have are bright green. Apparently they nibble on it and it makes them parched, then they go outside in search of water. It's worked better than traps, and I haven't found any dead ones in the house, which is what I originally feared. Good luck!
I love this post! I sent it to my mom and sisters in law and a few friends - so many of them have had similar mouse experiences, and I just love the "good stories" that come out of them! (And you'll love it too, after you catch the mouse/mice!) :)
This hilarious post is a great way to start my post-wedding-post-PA-back-to-real-life Monday (a day in which I feel about as energetic as day-old roadkill). And seriously, could that photo be any better? Sorry for your rodent woes--I feel the same way you do--however, it does make for highly-entertaining blog fodder.
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